|
Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals
at the Same Time
Full Book Outline:
KNOWING
---People Are What They Are and It's Irrelevant Anyway
---We Don't Know What Other People Are Capable of Achieving
---People Are Not Accountable for Their Thoughts and Feelings
---We Don't Know What Other People are Thinking and Feeling
---People Are Accountable for Their Words and Actions
---Assume Everyone is Doing the Best They Can
---Assume Everyone Has a Good Reason for What They Say and Do
LISTENING
---Listen Very Carefully
---Welcome Information, Criticism is Information
---If You Have a Choice, Don't Choose to be Hurt
---Examine Your Motives
---Targeting Problems is Good, Targeting People is Evil
---If You Want Someone to Do Something for You, You Have to Be Completely on Their Side
---When People Don't Understand, Listen Better
SPEAKING
---State Your Position Clearly and Ask for What You Want Specifically
---Tell Them Even If You Know They Won't Understand
---All You Can Do is Tell Them, You Can't Make Anyone Do Anything
---When People Don't Meet Your Expectations, Change Your Expectations
---Give Them 100 Tries to Get It Right
---If They Can't Get It Right in 100 Tries, There Must Be Something Wrong with the Procedure
---Teach Everyone to Do Everything
|
People Are What They Are and It's Irrelevant Anyway
I have often complained about another person, expecting the listener to understand
that it was impossible for me to work with this other person because of what he
or she �is� -- lazy, stupid, or whatever. Often, the person listening to me agreed.
They didn�t want to work with lazy or stupid people either. But that was when I believed that I could
actually figure out what a person �is�, and that what a person �is� matters.
There was a clue that I wasn�t very good at figuring out what people �are�.
The clue was that it was usually easier to
get agreement that someone was impossible to work with if the person I was
talking to didn�t know the person I was talking about.
If the only information they had was what I was telling them, they usually saw it my way.
But, if the person I was talking to did know the person I was talking
about, I often got an argument from them. They saw the other person differently than I did.
Another clue was that even people that seemed lazy, stupid, or bad to me had friends,
too. And sometimes, the people who liked them were people that I liked. Of
course, there was always an explanation for that � the bad person that I didn�t
like had fooled the good person that I liked � but there was another
explanation. They saw the other person differently than I did.
And even if I could get someone who knew the person to agree with me, there always
seemed to be someone else who disagreed. Or we all agreed that someone had one attribute,
but still disagreed on whether it was important, or on what other qualities or defects they had and
how important those were. So, we might all have been looking at the same person, but each of us might put that person
in a different box, depending on what we thought was their most important or dominant quality or defect.
Of course, it could be that I was an exceptionally bad judge of people, but I
don�t think the problem was my skill at it. I think the problem was in judging people at all.
People seem different to other people because they are different in different situations and at different times.
New experiences and insights change people and give them attributes they never had before.
And people are many things at once.
I am intelligent if you talk to me about my work. I am stupid if you talk to me about art.
I am full of energy for answering calls, getting claims paid, troubleshooting computer problems, and generally figuring
out how to get my job done. I am incredibly lazy at housekeeping. I am kind, cooperative, and
understanding with people who help me achieve my goals. I am suspicious and critical of
people who try to prevent me from reaching my goals. I have finally learned that I need to get those people on my
side, if I can, instead of fighting with them.
People are a conflicting conglomeration of thoughts, emotions, experiences, skills,
ineptitudes, qualities, and defects. No one is perfect, or its opposite, for that
matter. One word cannot sum up a person. People will not be just one thing because
it is easier to deal with them that way. People will not change to suit our purposes.
They are what they are. And it doesn�t matter.
For us to do the right thing and accomplish all our goals, it is not other people
who must be something in particular, it is us. To do the right thing and accomplish
all our goals, we must be consistent and fair and unbiased -- we must treat each
person the same as we treat every other person, no matter who they are, no matter
what they are. People are what they are and it doesn�t matter what they are. For us
to do the right thing and accomplish all our goals, what we say and do cannot depend
on what anyone else �is�.
We must treat our allies well, so they will continue to be our allies, and
because it is the right thing to do. We must treat our opponents well, so that
it is possible for them to become our allies, and because it is the right thing
to do. If we treat our allies well and our opponents badly, we are not trying
to achieve a goal, we are trying to win a power struggle. Both our allies and
our opponents will know it and neither of them will think it is a good thing.
Nobody wants to be a pawn. If we believe our goals are good, we must keep
trying to convince our opponents and keep trying to include them in the
work and in the reward. If we give up on our opponents, we obviously don�t
believe that the goal is good for them, too. We prove that they were right to
oppose us. We give up on our own goal.
To accomplish our goals, we don�t need other people to be something, we
need them to do something. To do something, people only have to understand
what we want, agree with the goal, know how to do some part of it, and be willing
to do it.
It is not necessary or productive for us to figure out what people �are�, which
is good, since it is nearly impossible.
Next Section:
We Don't Know What Other People Are Capable of Achieving
Doing the Right Thing Home
Page. Contains information on how to get in touch with me, since I welcome comments, corrections (of facts and typographical errors), and suggestions for new sections. You'll be able to access all 3 topic areas of this site.
boat captains hat prada trousers prada painting 10 instagram followers outlet prada unisex prada sunglasses natasha bedingfield take me away prada sonnenbrille prada 06ys sunglasses 100 instagram followers prada sonnenbrille light up light up as if you have a choice lyrics prada bags on sale outlet prada luna sport prada kiss perfume prada men's trainers old prada bags bunker hill park prada cinema sunglasses in line commercial construction prada florence jack spade briefcases rosemont bars prada chunky heels green prada wallet who own chatgpt carlucci rosemont gelatin sfx recipe rosemont restaurants with private rooms instagram followers analysis prada turquoise sunglasses prada makeup pouch chatgpt dan mode prada creative director prada candy sets men's outlet stores natasha bedingfield take me away prada 06ys sunglasses finishing concepts identity ray liotta tamagotchies prada umbrella carlucci restaurant rosemont il غوتشي instagram followers 500 rosemont restaurants in the park prada new glasses nude prada heels prada creepers chatgpt real estate banana republic premium outlets gucci shop online fashion outlets online prada jordans new followers instagram zadig et voltaire outlet instagram million followers prada jeweled bag prada refill perfume prada hoodie womens jazztrax catalina 2016 dr patel house tampa prada black notes willams chicken prada beanie women's men's clothing outlet online designer brand outlet sosa gucci prada cost of chatgpt coach outlrt prada sport boots chatgpt 使い方 large framed cork boards lila hayes nude prada purse cheap instagram followers fast chatgpt 中国注册 100 followers instagram prada running shoes corkboard roll spiky small fruit instagram followers co prada law prada shoes price cherokee songs amazing grace lisa marie song with elvis tamagotchies prada buy valentine texas prada specialty printing services tod's outlet store prada chunky shoes wearing prada purse outlet stores sheets of cork board vintage prada handbag prada woc gucco prada 08ys sunglasses prada ostrich bag cardinal supply st louis instagram resetting followers instant instagram followers prada florence valentine tx prada chatgpt vs bing prada ala moana elvis and lisa marie sing in the ghetto tods shoes sale outlet instagram scrape followers prada tennis factory outlets online
The URL of this site is:
http://www.mariannepowers.com/people.htm
Top of this Page
|